Are your New Year's resolutions doomed to failure? Every January, a large group of well-meaning determined people vow to improve their lives, a tired and ancient tradition. An American news article in 2015 estimated that February would soon be around, and that most people had returned to their old ways, possibly as high as 80%. <
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< span class="artic"le-image_u caption-inner"> be a planned man (or woman). (image: hero image/hero image/Getty Images)4. You don't have a plan. It's never easy to do research and planning for your New Year's resolutions. Search for "How to Start Meditation Practice" and you'll be bombarded with seemingly endless articles full of useful suggestions.
&Lin said that the challenge lies not in not knowing, but in not taking action that can produce results. Many people confuse information consumption with action, the former is passive, the latter is active.
You can think of it this way: You can spend countless hours reading in depth about meditation, but never a second of real meditation. Likewise, people always hesitate when making changes, which is related to anxiety - it is terrible to break the comfort situation. < p > < p > < strong > What to do: < / strong > Blatter advises you to look for inspiration from past victories. & Take an inventory of other successes in your life -- at work, at school, in relationships -- and use this data to help you develop a personalized success plan. By reflecting on the obstacles you have faced and overcome, you will gain self-confidence and remind yourself what personal strengths and resources have helped you succeed. Remember, take small steps. It sounds cliche. It's helpful to imagine your goal as a steep staircase. & You can't jump to the second floor and try to skip all the steps. "You go one at a time," Hassler said. Evaluate your overall goals and break them down into smaller solutions that are easier to manage. < p > < p > Lin said that the establishment of responsibility system is also the key, working with personal coaches, hiring language tutors, and establishing contacts with writing partners. Whatever you want to achieve, someone who supports you and makes you honest will improve your chances of sticking to your goals. < p > < H3 > 5. You are always troubled by past failures.
Everyone knows this motto. If you don't succeed at first, try it and try again. However, it ignores the fear of failure again. If you have failed to make the same decision twice before, you may feel anxious and timid about the possibility of trying again this year.
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Hassler says self-judgment of past failures is one of the biggest obstacles to change. & Usually, when people fail, they will fight themselves badly, they will be paralyzed, unable to take any future action.
What to do: First, forgive your past failures, Hassler said. Turn your inner critic into a coach. Instead of saying "I will never succeed," she said, "I believe in myself," she said, using friendly and supportive language such as "I believe in myself." This positive and encouraging internal dialogue will not only bring about more lasting changes, but also make people more mentally healthy.
-Don't let perfection be your enemy, Blatter said. & Frustration is a very useful tool for re-planning, so don't let it get you off track. Take failure as a lesson and write down what you have learned. By turning stumbling blocks into learning opportunities, you will no longer be afraid to try again and begin to see failure as a useful and necessary stop in the journey of change.
h3>6.Your goal is unrealistic p>If you can swim a lap without breathing, don't swear to finish the triathlon in six months. It's good to reach the stars, but you should also be realistic. Overambitious and unrealistic goals will only frustrate and overwhelm you, let alone trap you in failure.& "A good goal is to relax you a little, but still excite you," Lin said. It sounds easy, but how do you know when you found that sweet place? You may think that finding an unrealistic goal is a piece of cake, but sometimes people are blinded by emotions. Don't try to fill the void in your heart by achieving external results, Hassler said. In other words, starting a new exercise program may increase your muscle mass, but don't expect it to attract the perfect romantic partner or solve all your problems.
What should I do: In order to judge whether a goal is reasonable and manageable, Hassler encourages you to ask yourself, what are the next five actions I can take to move the needle closer to my goal? & quot; If you can't produce realistic answers, you should reassess and revise your overall goals to make them more achievable.
Lin Yifu also cautioned against putting too much emphasis on the final results. & "The most important thing is to focus on who we are and how we grow up in the process," she said. & What we are willing to do will challenge our belief in what we can do. This is the most satisfying aspect of setting goals. & The moral of the story: Enjoy the journey and be proud of your personal development.